So what if I happen to look like a murderer, I’m happy if it keeps people away… And for the record, the reason my eye is now fucked is because i got chemical in it, not because It was infected by an evil spirit before you go exorcising it!

( Yes I’m feeling misanthropic, how nice of you to notice :) )

~might be a little high as well?

Q: What’s a chicken’s favourite film?

A:  Bend It Like Peck-Em

I wish i had a jumper where the label was sewn on at the front, then i could drive people mad as they tried to work out which way around it was supposed to be.

Ugh you know what’s annoying, I just feel like I can’t ever talk about certain things i like because people around me liked them before i did. I just feel like I’m copying them and it’s such a shame because certain people really inspire me and yet I can’t go on and on about them in front of people that already like them because they’re probably just thinking “he’s so pathetic, always copying me and liking the same things. Here’s some of my hair, go clone me”.

Q: Can pigs talk? …

A: Snort of..

The more i browse the internet, the more of the same joke i see about Robin Gibb, well you know what, he is STAYING ALIVE, in the hearts of the millions of fans who will happily strangle you if you would be so heartless as to disrespect such a sweet man and his grieving family. Rant over.

Dad: Son, i’ve got something to tell you.

Son: Yes Dad?

Dad: You’re a candle.

Son: Wick-ed!